Hello queef!

Hey guys, sorry i haven't blogged for like ages - i forgot my password (like i said i probably would) and could't be bothered with the whole 'forgot your password aaaaayyyeeee?' shananagin. SO YEAH, howdy. How's life? How's your genitals? How are your pets? How are your family? Did you sort out the STI? Yeah, i really hope you did, was rather gross wasn't it? I certainly wouldn't like to go around showing people my willy if i had an STI. Well, i don't go around showing my STI free willy to randoms every day, but it would be worst diseased. You know what i really feel like? Dr Pepper. What a god. What a babe. Wow, my spelling seem to be rather drastic tonight.. I think that word didn't work correctly in that sentence either. Oh well, must just be one of those days. Like that day your nail broke and you dropped your irn bru? See, i know you well. Can read your mind. I am magic. I'm kidding i'm really not, but i'd love to be  a wizard and attend Hogwarts and spice it up a bit with funniness. I mean, come on, Harry has interesting adventurous but i'd have funny ones like drawing penis' on the moving pictures and see if they moved too. I'd also have a race with Dumbledore and Haggrid. I would also shave Haggrid's beard as it's rather ming. I think i would chuck a dragon at him to blow it off, not like a blow job, but like a firey blow. Oh lord i can't make this sound unrelated to sex, it's like an infection - adisease - an STI - a clit. WHy am i putting hyphins? Is that even how you spell 'hyphin'? Is that even a hyphin? Probably not but i'd appreciate you answering me, you hair muffin covered in satsuma jizz. I wonder if a fruit's ever had sex, or if someone's ever had sex dressed up as a fruit? That would be hilariously hysterical. Just like the size of your cock. Laugh out loud, aren't I a funny one. Not. Well i try, but i succeed in making some people laugh but some people find my sense of humour stupid, silly, immature etc but they can just lick my clit. Close your legs darling the fish is escaping. What an escopade. Is that a word? I don't know, but is it weird i've never eaten haggis and i'm Scottish? I'm sorry but i just hate the thought of what's in it. I can't be arsed blogging anymore tonight, mind blank. Catch you my favourite pineapples.

Happy Pancake Day Fanny Face!

Well hello there turnips, happy pancake day. I trust you've all been gobbling away gaining calories? Good. I'm glad. Well sorry for the lack of blogs recently, been revising for an Italian prelim, as it is my favourite subject! I think i've failed it though..whoops a daisy! I think it's raining outside. Better not bother doing my hair nicely if it's gonna be pissing it down. Back, sorry i forgot to say i was going for a sec. I went to look out the window then ate a bit of chocolate. Yummy indeed. I love dairy milk, it makes me rather horny. Nah kidding, but it is yummy. I love melting it then shoving my fingers in it and licking it off. I don't do it in a dirty sexual way though, i just like eating it. Nothing wrong with that aye? So how are you? What's on your mind? Anyone pissing you off? Anyone pissing on you? Anyone getting their clit out and pretending it can speak and making it shout in your face? Well i really hope not, as none of that would be pleasant in the slightest. I'm pregnant by the way, i thought my blog followers may be interested, you can name the baby if you want. I was thinking about calling it Fishy Fanny but i think it's against the Islamic religion or something so i guess I can't do that. Well i just made all of that shit up but oh wells, i enjoyed doing it. Oh, just if you were interested, i made a pancake fly today. It was truly facinating to watch. I really want to learn 'Dog Days Are Over' on my uke now, not learnt anything on the uke for ages. I fancy it. If it had a womb i would happily impregnate it. Mm, that'd would be a very musical child indeed. A mutated one at that too. Would probably get bullied.. Aww well i'd just slap it's bullies. Or set my aggresive urethra on it. Bet you never expected me to say that, eh? If so, you know me very well. And i'm impressed. Here's a gold star. Use it wisely. It may help you get into Oxford or sout lyk dat. I would hate to go to one of those big Universities, you have to be like good at sport and be good at work. It would be so ming. I'd never fit in. No one from there would understand the humnor put into my blog. They'd like see me write 'Scrotum' and say to themself "i did not realise this blog was about biology?". They'd get a slap. Imagine if the school had a naked day. Chaos. I'd also like to have a green house so i could innocently grow vegetables and fruit. Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? Did you know that a coconut is a seed? BET YOU DIDN'T! I'm going to skidaddle now, can't be arsed writing anymore. Speak soon my horny little devils, speak soon, if you speak to me first. <3